Keep in Mind

I love words. Specific combinations of words, individual words, fun to say words. Some words stick out to me more than others. Some resonate with a world of meaning and seem to say more than a whole novel of words could.

It may seem strange that I like words so much. Especially since I have a hard time always finding the right ones to accurately express the thoughts and feelings rolling around in my intracranial cavity. I have often said that I don't always think in words. A lot of the time I feel that there are no words in existence to portray verbally what I experience in the recesses of my soul.

That being said, there are words I love and find endless significance in. One in particular is "Remember." I don't know exactly why this word stands out to me so much more than many others, but it has always impacted me. It carries so much within its 8 letters. Remember to wash the dishes. Remember to feed Charlie. Remember to write Grandpa. Remember that time when you literally felt your heart break? Remember what it feels like to be utterly and completely happy in the universe? Remember the feel of sand between your toes? Remember how loved you felt? Remember that everything isn't always sunshine and roses. Remember that there is a greater purpose and you are an integral part of it. Remember to stretch before a run. Remember who you are. Remember to laugh. Remember to breathe. Remember, remember.

Whenever this word is used, I know that something meaningful is going to be said. Something wonderful is going to be reminisced. Something consequential is going to be discussed. It's a powerful word. It encompasses more than just reflecting the past, it covers responsibility for the future and reminds us that we are fully equipped for it.

Even though everything there is to be remembered isn't necessarily warm and fuzzy, I feel hopefully empowered when I think on this word "remember."

And maybe that's why I like it so much.

In the Sun He Melted

OK, I know that you're jealous of my time this weekend and in recent weekends past. You weren't invited and I undeniably didn't want you around. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings but this is uncalled for.

You had your chance. Heck you even stayed around longer than normal and we dealt with it. All of us. We put up with it knowing that you'd be gone before too long. Why are you being so unreasonable?

It is over. I'm not joking. I can't even stand to look at you. We could have been fine, happy even, if you'd just learned when to let go.

This:

Is the last straw.

"Hi. It's Me."

I called up an old friend the other day. And I mean old. This person has known me forever. They know everything I've ever done, everything I've ever said, everything I've ever felt or thought or pretended not to feel or think... Everything.

As we were talking I wondered why I had let so much time pass since I had last checked in. Admittedly, I kind of thought that since it had been so long and so much had happened it might be a little awkward at first to get conversation going. Heaven knows I'm awful at conversations, especially on the phone. But she knows all that.

I was relieved to find that the conversation was easy. Of course it was. Isn't it always? Don't I always feel comfortable talking to her? Isn't she always the best listener, the best advisor? I instantly felt that long, worn, intangible thread that was tying our existences together, tighten and pump life-giving energy into my psyche.

One of the things I like most about her is her ability to be perfectly honest and clear with me. No minced words. No cushioned cirticisms. She says it like it is. But never once has she offended me. Sometimes I don't ask her things because I'm afraid of what she'll say. Not because I think it will be hurtful or anything. It's because I know she'll be right, and maybe the answer isn't something I'm ready to act on yet.

She's also wonderful at appreciating me and telling me the good things about me without making me feel weird. I never know what to say when someone says something nice to/about me. She's always been so good at that. I still am not quite sure how she does it. She also seems to value my in-put and my spin on things. It's nice feeling like I mean as much to her as she does to me.

My biggest goal in life is to be like her. Honestly, everything about her I admire. She's patient, kind, funny, intelligent, humble, adventurous, brave, diligent, genuine. But mostly I admire her because she reminds me more of God than any one I've ever known.

The best part is, she's only a few words away. I should remember that more.

I Love Lucy

I love Lucy.

Or... I love I Love Lucy.

Either way you say it, it's true.

I am a bit of an insomniac. Especially on Sunday nights for some reason. Maybe it has something to do with the dread and anxiety of another Monday unavoidably dawning, but Sunday nights are brutal. That's where Lucy comes in.

On those nights, when no matter how sleepy I am I cannot for the life of me fall/stay asleep, I turn on some Lucy (thanks to Bradford's nifty media server that houses an abundance of movies, tv shows, and music).

Lucy keeps me company and lulls me to sleep when I would otherwise be staring at the ceiling for hours on end painstakingly listening to the clock tick.

I guess if I am having a hard time falling asleep I could always read my old Biology textbook too. I swear that thing had sleeping powder in between the pages because without fail I would fall asleep just about any time I opened the dang thing to read it.

I like science. However, Lucy soothes me just a little bit better than the dynamics of a cell's structure.

So thank you Lucy and Ricky for your marital woes, your sometimes all too predictable plots, and your inevitable reconciliations with the Mertz's. You are the best thing about my insomnia.

Heeeeeeeere's Charlie!

I decided it's time for you all to meet Charlie.

Charlie is a bundle of the sofest black and gray fur, a spunky, fearless, personality, and the cutest (albeit seemingly useless) little tail ever. Charlie is my bunny.

Bradford said he had been wanting to get me a bunny for a while and he figured that since he was leaving to the Philippines for two months it would be the perfect time to get me a bunny companion to keep me company while he was gone.

One Friday night, Bradford and I were driving from dinner to go look at some motorcycle pants that Bradford saw on the local classifieds for his upcoming trip (to the Philippines). We came upon this cute little house, got out of the car, and met the owner on the driveway. We started walking to a building behind the house (which I thought was a little odd, but whatever, maybe he keeps the pants in a garage). I immediately noticed all these animals! He had goats and birds and a dog and when we walked into the building there was a whole wall of cages, filled with the cutest bunnies ever.

I, still not catching on to the whole thing, said something along the lines of "Well, while you're checking out those pants I'm going to entertain myself with these cute fluffies." I remember the owner looking at me weird as if saying "what is she talking about" and then Bradford said, "Well, actually, this is the reason why we're here." I looked at him, still not really getting it, and he said, "I spoke with Renee (my landlady) and OKed it with her already. I wanted to surprise you." Boy was I ever! I was still processing it and trying to adjust the reality of not being there for pants but being there for me to pick out a rabbit friend, so the whole thing felt a little surreal at first. Let me just say, I am not very easily surprised, even if I can't guess what the surprise is, I can usually tell that something is up (makes for very anti-climactic surprise birthday parties...). So the fact that Bradford completely and utterly surprised me like I've never been surprised before was almost as good as what the surprise was!
Since that blissful Friday evening Charlie has been a pleasant addition to my household.

He is very playful but kind of picky about his toys. His favorites right now are the plastic grocery sack and old phone book. The grocery sack will keep him entertained for hours while he hops on it, flings it around, burrows in it... I think he likes the way it sounds, and how easy it is for him to move it.

The phone book he has had for a while but liked it better as a bed to sleep on than an actual toy. Recently, however, he has discovered that it is much more fun to shred it into little tiny pieces. When I come home from work the bathroom floor is usually strewn with little bits of recycled paper everywhere. I don't mind though because I like that he has something to do. A bored bunny= a naughty bunny.


I can sit and watch Charlie tirelessly. He is so funny. My favorite thing to watch him do is run and pounce all over the place. Its almost like he thinks something is chasing him the way he runs and ducks and hops around in circles and takes off at any given moment. He is a hoot.

He is also a good snuggler. Even though he is really active, he knows that every now and then a good snuggle is called for. He will cuddle up into my lap, close his eyes (sometimes even nudging my hand if I'm not taking the hint) and sit there contentedly as I pet him and rub his back.

I've had Charlie for a month now and I couldn't be happier. He has grown so much! I especially notice it in his feet and ears. He is currently being litter trained and is doing a pretty good job at it. I love bunnies, and Charlie has been everything I hoped for and more.

Yes, he is sitting in the trash can. Apparently he found out that if he jumped from the phone book he could get to the trash can and then to the toilet seat. One morning I found him sitting in the toilet bowl, absolutely soaked. It was so sad (although he didn't really seem to mind). I guess I forgot to close the lid the night before. I make sure to not leave it open now. I also invested in a lidded trash can because sitting in the trash? That's just gross Charlie.

*Most of the pictures were taken on my cell phone, hence the quality