What is it about us as human beings that have to have the best parking spot? I mean honestly. I was walking in to work today after just having parked the car (thank you Bradford for being a peach and letting me use Blackie!) and I noticed that a spot had just opened up that was much closer to the building than the spot I had and I was seriously considering going back out and moving the car before the spot got snatched. I pushed the button for the elevator and as I waited for it I went back to the window and pondered all the advantages of the closer spot and how it would take me just two minutes to move it. Then I realized the irony of the situation. I was waiting indefinitely for the elevator (with the stairs two feet away) because I wanted to get to work ASAP. Yet I was very intensely thinking about going back out side, walking to the car, moving it, and then walking back into the building to save me time later? How does that make sense?
I started up the stairs after that realization.
As I was walking up to my floor I asked myself that question: What is it that makes me want to have that spot so fervently (and I really did)? Will it make me earlier to work? Not if I go back out to the car and move it and then continue to wait for the elevator. Was I so cold now that I didn't want to be as cold after work when walking back to my car? Walking 10 seconds longer in my long winter coat isn't going to kill me. Then maybe it was because I knew I wasn't going to get out of work before 6 tonight and I didn't want to have to walk to my car alone in the dark? Nope. The street (where the "amazing" spot is) isn't lit while the parking lot (where I parked) has a light about every ten feet. Then what?! I couldn't think of anything logical.
One could argue that a closer spot saves time if you're late or in a hurry or something. But I don't want to be the type of person that is rushing around from one place to another at hyper speed all day long. Plus, it is easily arguable that circling the lot like a hawk wastes more time than just taking the available spot and walking the difference. Same goes with the stairs vs. elevator situation. People (yes, I'm generalizing here) take the elevator because its convenient, "faster" even. But I know from experience that waiting for the elevator and then slowly ascending may be less work than taking the stairs but it is definitely not quicker.
Now, back to not wanting to live life at supersonic speeds rushing around all the time. If the stairs are faster and walking from a farther spot takes less time than waiting for a closer spot to free up, then isn't that living life in a time conscious crunch? I thought about that and decided that yes it may be more time efficient but I'm not really worried about how much time I'm taking (ideally). I'm just doing it because it makes more sense than waiting who knows how long for an elevator or a prime parking spot to become available and not because of any pressing feelings of urgency. If, for example, I were hovering behind an old man who was shuffling to his car in the coveted spot the emotions I can clearly see in that situation are impatience, annoyance, maybe selfishness because I don't want someone else to have the spot, and a sense of being rushed because work is waiting. I'm also probably not feeling too fondly toward grandpa at that moment. I don't want to start my day like that! Especially since work can get stressful enough without preceding it with those high strung emotions (essentially dooming my day before its even begun). I don't even want to experience those stresses at all if I can help it. Especially if they could easily be avoided. Walking from a far spot might make me a tad colder, walking up the stairs might make me a little more winded, but if nothing else I'm getting a teeny bit more exercise then I would have. More importantly though, I side step those frazzling emotions.
So, as an addendum to a previous statement in a previous post, I will continue to take the stairs and also walk a few extra feet from the parking lot. My soul needs the exercise.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Playing Ball
The start of this year has been a little different for me than most. Usually the ball drops, a new calendar goes up, I feel sick from all the holiday goodies snarfed... but then the days go on just like they did the year before. Its not a big deal. New Years is fun and all if you want it to be but for me it doesn't spark any of the, "OK, this year things will be different!" motivation that seems to consume the nation. Don't get me wrong, resolutions are great and admirable, especially when they are stuck to, but for me, I need more than a New Year to have a fresh start and be better. I need new weeks, new days... new minutes even. Maybe that's why New Year's isn't a huge deal for me because I am constantly needing to review and recommit to my goals over and over and over, not just at the beginning of the year. Thus, I have oodles of mini "New Years" scattered throughout the 365 days so it isn't anything significantly unusual come the night of December 31st. That's how New Years have kind of always been for me: just an excuse to celebrate and not particularly a soul searching realignment of life. This year, however, was a little bit more like the conventional New Years in that I did feel differently, and I did have a different, more conscious, motivation than I've had on previous New Years to have a more fulfilling 12 months. I don't think that it was necessarily because its a new year so that's why I was feeling that way, it was more coincidence than anything that this realization and sense of eagerness to up the gears in my life happened to fall on the beginning days of a new year. However, it is easier to see the upcoming year at the top of it than at the end or middle of the one before it.
The past few weeks I have been reading different talks and quotes and scriptures as well as having conversations and experiences that were all generally unrelated to each other. Little did I know, until later reflection, that they had all been accumulating into a divinely linked together idea that provided me a special insight into myself, and life in general, that hit me all of a sudden a few days ago. I saw things that I have wanted to happen in my life. I actually saw them happening and realized that there wasn't anything but me keeping me back from doing them. I have known I wanted to do things like get out of debt, start school again (and be able to pay for it up front), and get a dental hygiene degree, etc. but they always seemed more like far of aspirations that were still in the stars and not actually plannable yet. Then I saw 2009 and I knew that those balls could start rolling. I eagerly pulled out my planner and my budget and I planned! I roughly paved the way for those things that I now realize I REALLY wanted to do. I can be out of debt entirely by June, May even, and for those of you who know, that was a very far off idea when I ended August of 2007. I was in over my head at $11,000+ in debt with no job, no job prospects, and finance charges steadily accruing. I will be able to pay for at least one course of online school with BYU in May as well. And another by the end of the summer. I may not be able to apply for the dental hygiene program at UVU until 2011 because I have some pre-requisites I have to knock out of the way before then, but I MIGHT be able to squeeze everything into this year and apply for the 2010 program if I'm lucky. But then I have to decide if I can really afford to quit working full-time to do school, and the program is really competitive anyway so I may not make the 14 students that are admitted each year after all... Ok, sorry, you all don't need to be inside my head for the actual planning process and all it entails... But long story short, I am actually doing this. Not just talking about it anymore. Its something that I am extremely excited about and the excitement just increases the more I think about it and read about it. So many things that I feel like I have only been able to peek at over the fence are now on my front porch!
Life is wonderful. I realize, too, that everyday I can resubmit myself to be changed and renewed. Things like New Years are great opportunities to remind us of that, but its more important for me to remember that new "beginnings" are a barrel a penny, available each and every time I need some shaping. All it takes is a choice made.
The past few weeks I have been reading different talks and quotes and scriptures as well as having conversations and experiences that were all generally unrelated to each other. Little did I know, until later reflection, that they had all been accumulating into a divinely linked together idea that provided me a special insight into myself, and life in general, that hit me all of a sudden a few days ago. I saw things that I have wanted to happen in my life. I actually saw them happening and realized that there wasn't anything but me keeping me back from doing them. I have known I wanted to do things like get out of debt, start school again (and be able to pay for it up front), and get a dental hygiene degree, etc. but they always seemed more like far of aspirations that were still in the stars and not actually plannable yet. Then I saw 2009 and I knew that those balls could start rolling. I eagerly pulled out my planner and my budget and I planned! I roughly paved the way for those things that I now realize I REALLY wanted to do. I can be out of debt entirely by June, May even, and for those of you who know, that was a very far off idea when I ended August of 2007. I was in over my head at $11,000+ in debt with no job, no job prospects, and finance charges steadily accruing. I will be able to pay for at least one course of online school with BYU in May as well. And another by the end of the summer. I may not be able to apply for the dental hygiene program at UVU until 2011 because I have some pre-requisites I have to knock out of the way before then, but I MIGHT be able to squeeze everything into this year and apply for the 2010 program if I'm lucky. But then I have to decide if I can really afford to quit working full-time to do school, and the program is really competitive anyway so I may not make the 14 students that are admitted each year after all... Ok, sorry, you all don't need to be inside my head for the actual planning process and all it entails... But long story short, I am actually doing this. Not just talking about it anymore. Its something that I am extremely excited about and the excitement just increases the more I think about it and read about it. So many things that I feel like I have only been able to peek at over the fence are now on my front porch!
Life is wonderful. I realize, too, that everyday I can resubmit myself to be changed and renewed. Things like New Years are great opportunities to remind us of that, but its more important for me to remember that new "beginnings" are a barrel a penny, available each and every time I need some shaping. All it takes is a choice made.
Friday, December 26, 2008
FYI
For those of you that follow Bradford's blog, he has a new web address for it. It is now: bradford.law-family.org
Update it in your blog list! His blogs are good... And I say that as unbiasedly as I can. :)
Hope you all are having wonderful holidays!
Update it in your blog list! His blogs are good... And I say that as unbiasedly as I can. :)
Hope you all are having wonderful holidays!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Time is here
I love the Christmas season. Everything about it just amazing. I don't even mind the cold very much just because its so characteristic of the holiday. Though, we are all scratching our heads out here in Provo, wondering where in the heck they mis-delivered our white fluffy stuff too. I mean, there is only 2 weeks until Christmas and even the ski resorts are sweating it over. I sure hope something happens soon because if I spend $400 on a snowboarding pass I sure expect to get some of that snow to board on. Needless to say, I'm sure I'm not the only one here in UT Valley with crossed fingers. Whodda thought I would ever be hoping for snow? I tease my roommate, Mita, that its all her fault because she keeps praying that it WON'T snow. She is from Fiji and snow and cold are further from her favorite things list than lima beans are from mine.
I want to relish Christmas this year. I don't want it to rush by in a whirlwind and leave me wondering where the time went. There are so many exciting things that happen during this month that its easy for time to fly. I want to make sure that I absorb it and enjoy it. Most of that will be achieved by dressing myself in the spirit of Christmas everday before I set out. I should do that all year long but Christmas is always a good time to reevaluate and rededicate myself to that principle.
Bradford found an article the other day for a fun seasonal celebration. Its a spin on the 12 days of Christmas. Instead of doing 12 days of incremental gift giving, its a 12 DATES of Christmas. So every day, starting 12 days before Christmas, you go on a date and somehow tie in the number of the day before Christmas it is to the date. I thought it was a great idea and we wanted to give it a spin and start a tradition, but we ended up having a bunch of other events scheduled and not enough days to do everything (we would only be able to do our 12 dates on weekends and maybe one other weekday every week because of school and work)... Christmas is a busy time of year I'm realizing... Even though it didn't work out for us this year, I love the idea and I am determined to make it work for next year.
As far as the Christmas festivities go we have already gone to my work's Christmas party (which was dinner at a Mexican restaurant, Joe Vera's, and a show at Comedy Sportz, a local comedy club that I recommend to anyone who appreciates clean, silly, comedy), and a Kurt Bestor concert. I had never heard of Kurt Bestor until someone brought tickets to my work to give us as a thank you. Apparently he is well known in Utah as a Christmas music performer and Bradford knew who he was and liked him so I got four of the tickets and Bradford and I went to hear some great Christmas music with our friends Jarron and Olivia. I really enjoyed it. He's a very talented musician/composer and there were some touching Christmas pieces. Coming up on our checklist of Christmas events is the annual Mo-Tab/Orchestra at temple square Christmas concert. Though nothing can easily top the one with Sissel from two years ago, it should still be great this year. They gave out tickets in a "lottery" for this years concert. You basically just entered a drawing with how many tickets you wanted (up to 4) and what night you preferred them for and then they randomly chose people to get them. I was lucky enought to get four of them. I originally had four for the sunday mini-concert but then my old co-worker switched me for her saturday night ones because she can't go on saturday. Mita and Kimberly (hopefully) are coming with Bradford and me and I'm really lookign forward to it. I'm also going with Kimberly to her work Christmas party which is on Friday at Tucanos. Mmmm... I'm going to be missing out on a good chunk of Bradford's family's Christmas party but I can't pass up Tucanos! Or Kimberly for that matter ;).
Speaking of Bradford's family... Bradford's brother Richard and his family are visiting from Las Vegas this week and the women in the family (ie, sisters, sisters-in-law, girlfriend...) took advantage of the opportunity to go out for a girl's night to Olive Garden and then play games afterward at Bradford's parents'. It was sweet of them to include me, and once the hyperventilating subsided I was able to enjoy their company and conversation. I hope they can say the same of me... Unfortunately, I am shy by nature, believe it or not, and being in a group of just girls (let alone a group of people I don't know particularly well) is extremely intimidating for me, and I wasn't as active a participant as I would have liked. I am perfectly content to be a listener and observe things, but sometimes I'm afraid that people interpret that as me being indifferent and standoffish. Part of me wished Bradford was there to lean on and calm my nerves but I need to get over it already. After two years you wouldn't think it would be an issue to be around his family alone. That's my fault for letting it get to me so much and overthinking and letting anxiety take over... I wish I had a better handle on it. I can only get better, though, can't get much worse. That is my new resolve: to be less self-conscious. In all aspects. Its something that has been on my mind for a while now and I realize that its holding me back from being an honest depiction of myself. Anyway, off that vein...
I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas season. Its such an amazing time of year and everyone deserves to feel a glimmer of the Christmas magic!
I want to relish Christmas this year. I don't want it to rush by in a whirlwind and leave me wondering where the time went. There are so many exciting things that happen during this month that its easy for time to fly. I want to make sure that I absorb it and enjoy it. Most of that will be achieved by dressing myself in the spirit of Christmas everday before I set out. I should do that all year long but Christmas is always a good time to reevaluate and rededicate myself to that principle.
Bradford found an article the other day for a fun seasonal celebration. Its a spin on the 12 days of Christmas. Instead of doing 12 days of incremental gift giving, its a 12 DATES of Christmas. So every day, starting 12 days before Christmas, you go on a date and somehow tie in the number of the day before Christmas it is to the date. I thought it was a great idea and we wanted to give it a spin and start a tradition, but we ended up having a bunch of other events scheduled and not enough days to do everything (we would only be able to do our 12 dates on weekends and maybe one other weekday every week because of school and work)... Christmas is a busy time of year I'm realizing... Even though it didn't work out for us this year, I love the idea and I am determined to make it work for next year.
As far as the Christmas festivities go we have already gone to my work's Christmas party (which was dinner at a Mexican restaurant, Joe Vera's, and a show at Comedy Sportz, a local comedy club that I recommend to anyone who appreciates clean, silly, comedy), and a Kurt Bestor concert. I had never heard of Kurt Bestor until someone brought tickets to my work to give us as a thank you. Apparently he is well known in Utah as a Christmas music performer and Bradford knew who he was and liked him so I got four of the tickets and Bradford and I went to hear some great Christmas music with our friends Jarron and Olivia. I really enjoyed it. He's a very talented musician/composer and there were some touching Christmas pieces. Coming up on our checklist of Christmas events is the annual Mo-Tab/Orchestra at temple square Christmas concert. Though nothing can easily top the one with Sissel from two years ago, it should still be great this year. They gave out tickets in a "lottery" for this years concert. You basically just entered a drawing with how many tickets you wanted (up to 4) and what night you preferred them for and then they randomly chose people to get them. I was lucky enought to get four of them. I originally had four for the sunday mini-concert but then my old co-worker switched me for her saturday night ones because she can't go on saturday. Mita and Kimberly (hopefully) are coming with Bradford and me and I'm really lookign forward to it. I'm also going with Kimberly to her work Christmas party which is on Friday at Tucanos. Mmmm... I'm going to be missing out on a good chunk of Bradford's family's Christmas party but I can't pass up Tucanos! Or Kimberly for that matter ;).
Speaking of Bradford's family... Bradford's brother Richard and his family are visiting from Las Vegas this week and the women in the family (ie, sisters, sisters-in-law, girlfriend...) took advantage of the opportunity to go out for a girl's night to Olive Garden and then play games afterward at Bradford's parents'. It was sweet of them to include me, and once the hyperventilating subsided I was able to enjoy their company and conversation. I hope they can say the same of me... Unfortunately, I am shy by nature, believe it or not, and being in a group of just girls (let alone a group of people I don't know particularly well) is extremely intimidating for me, and I wasn't as active a participant as I would have liked. I am perfectly content to be a listener and observe things, but sometimes I'm afraid that people interpret that as me being indifferent and standoffish. Part of me wished Bradford was there to lean on and calm my nerves but I need to get over it already. After two years you wouldn't think it would be an issue to be around his family alone. That's my fault for letting it get to me so much and overthinking and letting anxiety take over... I wish I had a better handle on it. I can only get better, though, can't get much worse. That is my new resolve: to be less self-conscious. In all aspects. Its something that has been on my mind for a while now and I realize that its holding me back from being an honest depiction of myself. Anyway, off that vein...
I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas season. Its such an amazing time of year and everyone deserves to feel a glimmer of the Christmas magic!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
♫ Let me show you the shape of my Heart! ♪
Its amazing. Whodda thought that Bradford was actually speaking truth all this time?! ;) Ok, I'm kidding, I always knew he was right but I just didn't give myself enough of a chance to truly practice what he preached. Do what, you ask? I'm sure you're all just dying to know. So I'll tell you. This morning, I finally woke up. Early. Earlier than just in time to quickly shower and scramble around to get ready before stumbling out the door to get to work on time. Early enough to wake up and work out (thank you Kathi for that intensified ab workout via the giggles, I think Tony would be proud) and afterwards I took a relaxing shower and *gasp* actually ate breakfast. Who knew those early morning hours were actually good for something? I'm happier today too. I'm not so tired, even though I woke up earlier than I would have normally on a day like today, I'm energized and I feel good. Not sluggish. Amazing...
Bradford found this really cool alarm clock that I think is part of the reason I was able to wake up and stay awake rather than fumbling for my phone and shutting off the alarm in the same second that I fall back into unconsciousness like I usually would do. I can't even remember what its called. Its ornj or citrus alarm clock or something... but anyway, you download it off of the internet and it links with the songs in your media player on your computer. At the scheduled time of wake up it starts to play the song (or songs) and it gradually gets louder and louder until you get up and turn it off. Its pretty clever. I put my laptop in the living room so I have to physically get up and go shut if off, increasing the wake factor. And it works! Imagine that. The only bad thing I've noticed (I've only used it twice) is that I wake up about 15 minutes before its actually supposed to go off. I don't know if its because my body is anticipating it and my subconscious just can't wait to hear the Backstreet Boys crooning me out of bed or if its merely a fluke. I hope it doesn't keep happening... because even though I was wide awake, 15 more minutes of slumber is always very much appreciated.
Today I had a good start, and I can see that a good start could be the difference between a good and a bad day. Now, tomorrow I'm planning for a great start.
***Here is the alarm clock link if any of you are interested in it for yourself: http://www.ornj.net/citrus/ it has a 30 day free trial so if you want to try it out I recommend giving it a whirl.***
Bradford found this really cool alarm clock that I think is part of the reason I was able to wake up and stay awake rather than fumbling for my phone and shutting off the alarm in the same second that I fall back into unconsciousness like I usually would do. I can't even remember what its called. Its ornj or citrus alarm clock or something... but anyway, you download it off of the internet and it links with the songs in your media player on your computer. At the scheduled time of wake up it starts to play the song (or songs) and it gradually gets louder and louder until you get up and turn it off. Its pretty clever. I put my laptop in the living room so I have to physically get up and go shut if off, increasing the wake factor. And it works! Imagine that. The only bad thing I've noticed (I've only used it twice) is that I wake up about 15 minutes before its actually supposed to go off. I don't know if its because my body is anticipating it and my subconscious just can't wait to hear the Backstreet Boys crooning me out of bed or if its merely a fluke. I hope it doesn't keep happening... because even though I was wide awake, 15 more minutes of slumber is always very much appreciated.
Today I had a good start, and I can see that a good start could be the difference between a good and a bad day. Now, tomorrow I'm planning for a great start.
***Here is the alarm clock link if any of you are interested in it for yourself: http://www.ornj.net/citrus/ it has a 30 day free trial so if you want to try it out I recommend giving it a whirl.***
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